Do you know how this feels?

I understand why your taking it all hard, and it hurts me to see you hurt like this. I'm sorry.
But seriously posting it on facebook didn't help me with my sence of mind. I blew it, and I blew it with you, saying the things that I didn't mean to say.
You were nothing but good to me, and i was nothing but saddness and dispear to your life.
I wish I could just run away with you but I can't. He would find us eventually... i know he would.
I'm sorry that it had to come like this, but i couldn't risk your life.

I wish I would do something wrong, so that he could just kill me, so that this madness would be over, and I wouldn't have to see the sadness in your eyes.