I want it just the way it was...

Speaking with you that night, it felt like my heart stopped. I didn't know how you would react to me calling you. But i'm glad I did. So many of my worries eased away... i'm glad your not going to let me go as a friend.
When i called i felt happy and safe. You eased up the pain that I went through, it was tough to actually laugh but it was easy when you sang. Its like i let my guard down and admire how much i actually love you, and how lucky to have met you. All the tears I've shed for this monster were forgotten when we spoke. All the need of the lack of love and attention were forgotten when we spoke. The baby in me was nurtured by your loving voice.

he screams and yells all bad things about me. not beautiful, your not helpful, your stupid, fucking cunt, for fuck sakes, are you actually retarded, he gets me to do everything for him, he told me he enjoys it when i cry, whenever i do something "bad" he would kick me, punch me, slap me, push me... I'm scared when i was around him.

I just want to run into your arms, and you comforting me, like you always do. Telling me that I am beautiful, that I you love me, and ultimately just telling me what everything was ok

Its just an fantasy, another silly little fantasy now...