As i pour my heart out....

As I pour my heart out, I know that nothing will change. I know that you still won't trust me like you used to, or you won't look at me and see me the same way. Just know that, that girl has been changed, by the person that you made her to be. You made me see the light in everything,
However that doesn't change the fact of what I've done to you. I'm so sorry, if I could turn back time I could. I don't know how I'll change things and make you see that all I'm saying is true. I'm just going to have to trust the love we shared and hopefully that will help you see that I really have changed from the two weeks. I'm not the type of girl that will just fight for nothing. You aren't nothing and I hate to see that I've changed to into this kind of person. I want to change that, and help you be the person that I have seen you become. I love you and nothing will change that, I shall fight until I have nothing to fight with, 'till I have none of the strength that you have given me to be strong, I will use that power with you.

I think back, and I remember my cousin Elly.... Looking back on what shes done fucking with me and like ruining my life. However, the thing I've done to you wasn't any better than what Elly has done. Constantly I've told myself that I wasn't going to drop myself as low as Elly has, however, that's exactly what I've done. I'm no better, and I want to change that. It's written down and I know what I have to do to change myself. I have to beat down the devil, and that's all the influential guidance that she has given me because all that is bullshit. So fuck you Elly for being that only rolemodel.

I only have myself to blame for all the hurting that I'm feeling right now for losing you. All I can do is hope that you can believe me that I can change, and I know I can I believe myself, I have something to work for, and that something is you.

I've never felt this way before, honestly I've said this again and I'll say it once more. You believed in me unlike any other, you didn't want me like any other guy did. I love you for that....

----To be Continued.